Gross or Gourmet? Historical Dishes That Need a Warning Label

Let’s talk about food—and how it used to be utterly unhinged. Ever tried jellied meat? Neither have we, thankfully. But in Victorian England, aspic-covered meat sculptures were all the rage. It looked like dinner… encased in a clear horror film. Culinary brilliance or edible crime scene? Hard to say. If for some odd reason you want to try this at home, it is made by simmering meat and bones to extract natural gelatin, straining the broth and then chilling it to allow it to set. It's basically the way any greasy broth or soup looks when you reach for it in the fridge a day after cooking it. Please reheat it. Don't be a savage

Travel to medieval banquets and you’ll find peacocks roasted with their feathers reattached. Why? To impress guests, obviously. If your meat didn’t double as an art installation, were you even rich? Bonus points if it was stuffed with another animal. Turducken’s chaotic cousin? The peagullhenchick.

In Iceland, fermented shark is still considered a delicacy. Known as hákarl, it’s buried, rotted, and then dried. It smells like death and tastes like revenge. YUM. Anthony Bourdain called it “the single worst thing” he ever put in his mouth. And he ate a cobra’s heart once. People just want to be unique, I get it...but come on now don't be that careless. Think of the children for crying out loud! Imagine your little one asking you whats for dinner and you put this guy on their plate. Trauma. The kids might enjoy a meat pie instead.

Yes, a meat pie. I'd like to think of it as medieval days' chicken pot pie. Throw together what you have and eat it all before it goes bad. Maybe not 5 star restaurant gourmet but not nearly as bad as that Jelly meat.*trying not to barf*. Meat pie consisted of use any bits of meat or vegetables to create a filling while using butter or animal fats like lard or for pie crust.

Ancient Romans had a favorite sauce called garum—fermented fish guts aged in the sun. It was the ketchup of its day, only with a side of potential botulism. They put it on everything. Caesar salad? Try Caesar stomach cramps. This is no caviar let me tell you. I'd stay away.

We love to romanticize the past, but let’s be clear: historical food was often daring, weird, and borderline illegal by modern standards. So bless your picky eater heart and enjoy that basic mac and cheese. At least it doesn’t reek of ammonia. DO YOU.